


What We Alone Know

by garconne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, F/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 19:48:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2400746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garconne/pseuds/garconne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sif's senior year at Asgard High is full of surprises...and secrets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning for references to physical abuse of a teenager (non-sexual).**

Red and gold streamers lined the halls of Asgard High as Sif made her way to first period math. The five-minute bell rang as she took her seat. She tightened her ponytail and set her pencil and homework on her desk. The seats around her gradually filled…except for the one next to her. She couldn’t help but shake her head. Sigyn was practically late every morning. 

And sure enough, she tumbled in looking frazzled a good five minutes after the tardy bell, her hair pulled up into four pony tails for Crazy Hair Day. Sif had not participated. While Sigyn wanted to enjoy her “last chance” for spirit Fridays as a senior, Sif was incapable of caring anymore. 

“I’m sorry! Do I need a pass?” Sigyn asked the teacher. 

Mrs. Penderson shook her head, dismissively waving her hand and taking up a piece of chalk.   

“God, this was the worst morning,” Sigyn said as she flung herself into the seat next to Sif. 

“Sorry.” 

“I realized I dropped my powder in the driveway!” 

“Oh my god, did you go back for _your makeup_?” 

“No! That’s why I’m shiny and gross! Do you have some?” 

Mrs. Penderson turned toward the class. 

“That will be enough chatter. We have a lot to cover today, so buckle up.” 

Sif shook her head and whispered to Sigyn. 

“You know I don’t bring that stuff to school.” 

“Ladies,” the teacher scolded. 

As usual, Sif had to bump Sigyn’s arm a few times to wake her up during class. After one bump, Sigyn slipped her a note. 

 _Despite this being the morning from HELL, I have MAJOR good news._  

Sif drew a question mark that took up the rest of the page and handed it back. Sigyn laughed and scribbled a quick reply before plunking it down on Sif’s desk.

 _I GOT A DRESS FOR HOMECOMING_  

Sif smiled and rolled her eyes. She set the note on her desk, gave Sigyn a thumbs up, and went back to taking notes. 

Homecoming was two weeks away, and in the hall after class, it was still on Sigyn’s mind. 

“I’m starting to _doubt your commitment_ to homecoming.” 

“What?” Sif asked. 

“Wow. You forget every movie I make you watch.” 

“Oh god, not that weird rabbit thing.” 

Sigyn laughed. “Aren’t you going to get a dress, too?” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Sif sighed. “I just thought he would have asked me by now, if he wanted to go with me.” 

“Oh. Well, he still could. And it’s not like I have a date!” 

They stopped at the end of the hall where they had to part ways. 

“Lezbi-friends,” Sif joked. 

“At least he knows you exist,” Sigyn said with exaggerated bitterness as she turned to go. “Have fun in _art_.” 

Sif shook her head at her friend and headed to second period art. Talking about Thor and how he hadn’t asked her to homecoming just made her feel bummed about it all over again. She hadn’t had a date to homecoming since sophomore year, and it wasn’t even a good one. She kept thinking senior year would be THE year—the year Thor asked her out, the year she medaled in track and field, the best year of high school. 

She was mad at herself as she scooted into her seat in art. Why was she letting a guy affect her this much? She idly glanced around the room and her gaze landed on Loki, Thor’s younger brother, and apparently his antithesis, with his sloppy black hair and complete disinterest in sports. He was so weird and quiet. How could he keep his hoodie on when the art room was always so hot? She couldn't figure out why Sigyn liked him so much. 

A few students rejoiced as the teacher took a box out of the cabinet, and then the rest joined in when they realized why: they were working with charcoal pencils. Mr. Sanders liked to surprise them on Fridays. He wrote a single word of inspiration on the board: _power_. Based on that prompt, they were allowed to free draw whatever came to mind. 

Sif liked that drawing took her mind off things. She decided to draw Gamora, one of her favorite fictional characters, in a fighting pose with daggers, dark swirls of charcoal showing her hair in the gusting wind. 

She still had black smudges on her hands as she headed to lunch after class. As she rounded the corner toward the front door, she saw him. Thor and his football buddies, Hogun and Volstagg, were coming toward her. Time slowed down at the sight of him in his red and gold letter jacket, his blond hair tucked behind his ears, and that smile—oh god, that smile. He was glorious. 

“Hey guys,” she said casually as she neared them. 

“What’s uuuuuup?” Thor replied, hugging her with one arm. 

She knew she wasn’t special; he hugged all the girls he knew that way. But just for a second, she was on cloud nine. She was glad she was wearing one of her cross country t-shirts, to remind him that she was an athlete, too, and not one of the Barbies who came to school in two pounds of makeup. 

But her heart sank when they were gone. It seemed more and more ridiculous to think he’d ask her to homecoming, or anywhere, for that matter. 

Weaving through a swarm of bizarre hairstyles, Sif found Sigyn outside. They had already planned to walk across the street for pizza. 

“Anything to report?” Sigyn asked. 

“What? Did you see him hug me?” 

“What! No! He hugged you? Yay!” 

Sif laughed. “I love how he hugs his friends. And we kind of matched since we’re both in school colors.” 

“Soul mates,” Sigyn teased. “I was actually asking if you had anything to report from art.” 

“Oh. Um, not really? I’m not stalking Loki for you.” 

“Shhhh!” Sigyn scolded. 

“Sorry.” 

They got in line at the pizza place. 

“Guess where I’m going after school?” Sigyn said, smirking. 

“Where?” 

“Victoria’s Secret! Now that I have a dress, I need a new strapless bra.” 

“Barf.” 

Sigyn laughed. She seemed to enjoy torturing Sif with topics that made her uncomfortable, like _Vampire Diaries_ and cleavage. 

After lunch, Sif had science. She was still distracted by the thought of Thor hugging her and how he probably saw her as just another one of the girls who fawned over him. But she didn’t fawn. She was always chill. Right? She sometimes wondered how far down his “list” of date options she was. 

Just then, she noticed a new girl in the classroom on the front row, diagonal from her seat. She was wearing a lacy tank top, pink lipgloss, and had her hair in two braids. As Sif sat down at her desk, she wondered if maybe she was the teacher’s daughter. 

“Alright, good afternoon,” the teacher began. “We have a new student joining our class today, and we’re really lucky to have her. Jane, why don’t you tell the class about the great things you were doing at your previous school?” 

Jane stood up to face everyone, looking appropriately embarrassed. Sif couldn’t understand why the teacher was putting her in such an awkward position; new students weren’t usually forced to speak to the whole class. 

“Hi, I’m Jane. Well, at my old school, I started a science club, and I’m hoping to do the same thing here. If any of you love science as much as I do, I hope you’ll join. It’s so much fun! At my old school, we just finished a fundraiser to get a telescope.” 

“Thank you, Jane!” the teacher said. 

Jane sunk back into her seat. Sif looked her over. She would never have pegged her as the type to start a science club. Something about her made Sif uneasy, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. The feeling only grew stronger when Jane was consistently the first to raise her hand any time the teacher asked a question. Sif decided that Science Club Jane was incredibly annoying. 

Sif’s final class of the day was history, and then it was time to change clothes for cross country. As she headed outside with the other cross country girls, she tried to clear her mind and prepare to run. Then, she spotted Thor and a group of guys heading for the weight room across the field. When he glanced over, she smiled, and he waved. Out of all the girls on her team, he noticed her. As her feet struck the pavement and she breathed the cool fall air, she felt renewed. After two nice Thor encounters in one day, she drove home with a smile. 

When she checked her phone, she had a text from Sigyn with a picture of her sparkly blue homecoming dress. 

 _Pretty!_ she replied. _Spend the night??_  

Sif had just been over at Sigyn’s the previous Friday, but it wasn’t hard to convince her. They spent the night in Sif’s room talking about their respective crushes, homecoming, and then prom. Sigyn was _already_ talking about what she’d wear to prom. Sif realized she hadn’t even thought about it—although she had imagined going with Thor. Sigyn wanted to make her watch a vampire movie, and after much sighing, she relented and watched it on the condition that she could make her watch _X-Men_ next. 

The next week at school, Monday was a B day, so Sif wouldn’t see Sigyn in class or at lunch. But she did see her in the hall after first period government, and Sigyn ran up to her like she had important news. 

“You didn’t tell me you made the case!” 

Sif realized she meant the glass case in the hallway outside the art room. 

“What? I’m in the case?”

“Yeah, your charcoal! Come look.” 

They fought the crowd down to the other end of the hall and squeezed over to the art case. 

There was her drawing of Gamora among several others from the class. She hadn’t told Sigyn what she drew that day, but she knew her well enough to spot it. Then Sif noticed the one next to hers. 

“Hey,” she said quietly, “that one’s Loki’s.” 

“What? That one?” 

Sif nodded. It was a detailed close-up of an owl’s face. She had seen him hand it in at the end of class. 

“Whoa, that’s gorgeous.” 

“Kind of creepy,” Sif said. 

“Good creepy. I love it.” 

“But of course you do.” 

“Aw, and look, your drawings are right next to each other.” 

Sif rolled her eyes. They said goodbye and she dashed up the stairs to class. She wondered if her drawing being next to Loki’s would make Thor more likely to notice it. 

After government, she had cross country, health, and finally, English, where she discovered that Science Club Jane was now also in her English class. Sif was immediately annoyed by her presence, though she still wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was her pink lipgloss. And then when Jane got all excited to discuss “the scientific implications of reanimation” in _Frankenstein_ , Sif remembered that she was just plain irritating. 

*** 

The next day in art, Mr. Sanders announced that the class would be divided into pairs to share an easel while they painted—but there was a twist. He asked them to take turns adding something to the painting without ever speaking to each other. Sif was immediately uneasy about the assignment, since she wasn’t crazy about collaborative art. She would have been much happier painting on her own, but she hoped that at least the no talking part might help it go by faster. 

Mr. Sanders went down the roll sheet assigning partners, and when he called Sif’s name, she felt her heart thump harder, and then it nearly stopped when Loki’s name was next. The two of them wordlessly stood and took their places at their easel. She had to stop herself from laughing. 

 _Sigyn is going to kill me._  

As the teacher continued calling out other pairings, Sif saw a golden opportunity. 

“So, your charcoal was really good,” she said. 

Loki looked like she’d snapped him out of some kind of daze. 

“Oh, thanks.” 

“Yeah, my friend Sigyn really loved it when she saw it in the case.” 

“Cool.” 

“Do you know her? She’s shorter than me and blonde?” 

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” 

She almost wanted to invite him to come to lunch with the two of them, but he seemed like he might spontaneously combust if she was overly friendly. Then again, Sigyn might, too. 

“Anyway, she said yours was the best. I was like, hey, thanks, friend.” 

She laughed. He just nodded. _Good talk,_ she thought. _Oh well. Sigyn will still freak._  

“Yours was really good, too,” he said after a moment. 

“What?” 

She was almost stunned at hearing him form such a long sentence. 

“Your charcoal. Gamora. That was really cool.” 

For a split second, he looked right at her and she noticed his piercing blue eyes, somehow for the first time. 

“Oh...thank you! I love her.” 

“Yeah. Great character.” 

“Definitely.” 

He was so awkward she felt herself blushing on his behalf. She couldn’t wait for the no speaking rule to start. 

As they painted, Sif felt like the half of her body that was next Loki was crawling with ants or shivering while the other half sweated in the warm art room. But Loki was a genuinely talented painter, and she even caught herself trying to impress him a few times. She hated thinking about how jealous her friend would be when she told her about sitting next to him for so long. She wondered what was going on behind his focused face as he added a stroke to their page. He was in long sleeves again, this time a plain olive green shirt, and a bulky black watch. Without his hoodie, she could see how skinny he was. And his hair, dark as hers and long enough to touch his ears, was an odd mess of shaggy curls. He really was Thor’s opposite. Just as she was lost in thought, it was her turn to paint, but she slipped and dropped her brush, leaving a blot of navy on the white floor. Loki grabbed the brush and handed it back to her, and as she took it, his fingers barely brushed her palm. She thought she saw his cheeks go red and turned her gaze back to the painting. 

 _Good lord_. _Is that the only time he’s touched a girl’s hand?_  

*** 

“OH MY GOD TELL ME EVERYTHING,” Sigyn said as they got in the car to go to lunch. “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH WHY DIDN’T I TAKE FUCKING ART.” 

Sif laughed. “Well, I told him you _loved_ his charcoal.” 

Sigyn let out a shrill screech. “WHAT DID HE SAYYYY?” 

“He was like oh that’s cool, being all modest you know, and then I asked him if he remembered you and he said yes!” 

“What? Really?” 

“Yeah! So see, he totally knows you exist… Where are we going?” 

“AHHH I’M DYING,” she yelled, covering her face with her sweater. “Burgers?” 

Sif pulled out of the parking lot. 

“And so, like what did you paint?” 

“Oh, it was pretty random. We just did like a red vase with flowers.” 

Sif knew she was downplaying the painting; it had looked genuinely good by the end. 

“Did you talk about anything else?” 

“No, not really.” 

“Not really?” 

“No, then the silent painting started.” 

“But nothing after that?” 

“No, the bell rang.” 

Sif had a feeling she should leave out the part about him liking her art and touching her hand. And the thing about his eyes, too, though she wasn’t even sure how to explain that out loud. So what if they were blue? Lots of guys had blue eyes. 

*** 

When it was time for art again two days later, Sif had a strange anxiousness in her stomach and wondered if she was getting her period soon. When she sat down, the feeling got a thousand times worse. There were three paintings at the front of the room, and one was the one she’d made with Loki. When he came in, she made sure not to look over at him. 

“Good morning, everyone,” Mr. Sanders began, “I wanted to start out by discussing some of the work you all did last time. How did you feel about creating without speaking?” 

“Terrible,” one girl replied. Others laughed. 

“It can be a frustrating process. But I was particularly impressed with the three paintings behind me, and I want to explain why.” 

He stepped over to the first one. Based on the order of the paintings, Sif could tell hers would be last. She took a deep breath. 

“I love the use of color in this one. It’s almost as if one painter answered the other. See here, the yellow seems to ask a question, and the blue responds. Same with the red and white. Really gorgeous work.” 

He moved to the next one. Sif was relieved that the commentary was so short. 

“This one is almost the exact opposite. This looks like two painters who were fighting or competing for control of the canvass. Looking closely, you can even see that several times, they covered up portions of each other’s work!” 

The two creators of the piece laughed. He moved to the final piece. Sif’s heart was hammering her chest. 

“And this piece. Please just look at it. I have to say that as an art teacher, this is the kind of work that makes me love my job. If I didn’t know better, I would think this was created by one artist. But I know better because I watched the two of you. You painted with such synchronicity and respect for each other that it was like you were sharing a mind about what you wanted to create. Sif, Loki, did the two of you discuss this at all before you began?” 

She wanted to dissolve into her seat. 

“N-no, we didn’t plan anything. We just painted.” 

Loki was silent. 

“Well, this is breathtaking. I genuinely hope to see you two collaborate again in the future.” 

Sif looked over at Loki and gave him an awkward shrug. And then he smiled. At her. Loki smiled at her.

_Shit._

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Why would I hate you?” Sigyn said over lunch at Subway. “Of course yours was the best! Your stuff and his stuff is _always_ the best.”

Sif shook her head and ate a chip. She had left out the part about Loki smiling.

“Oh. Oh my god,” Sigyn said, setting her drink down.

“What?”

“He’s going to have a crush on _you_ now!”

“What! No he isn’t!”

_The smile didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean anything._

“Yes he is! Oh my god, I psychically predicted this! I hate being right!”

Sigyn slouched.

“Stop it. He doesn’t like me.”

“How could he not? Look at you. You’re a dream girl. Sports and art? Fuck. How can I compete?”

Sigyn was too hard on herself. Her eye makeup was too dark for her fair complexion, but she was pretty, with her freckles and bright green eyes, and she was one of the funniest people Sif knew.

“Stop. You’re a dream girl, too. Choir _and_ newspaper?!”

Sigyn scoffed.

“It’s not like I want him to like me,” Sif added. “And anyway, if I’m so great, why can’t I get the guy I actually want?”

“Because he’s a self-absorbed jock and you’re too good for him.”

Sigyn didn’t miss a beat, leaning back in the booth and slurping her soda. Sif glared and threw a crumpled straw wrapper at her.

***

That night, Sif pulled the covers over her head. She thought about the painting and Loki smiling at her, and she started to feel knots in her stomach again. If she was honest with herself—if she was really, truly honest—she could kind of see why Sigyn liked him.

_I don’t like Loki. I want Thor to ask me to homecoming._

She replayed one of her favorite fantasies—the one about how so many girls would be jealous to see her with Thor—and smiled as she drifted into sleep.

The next day at school, her phone buzzed with a text from Sigyn. It had a picture of the vase painting in the art case and the message _I ship it._

 _I’m going to kill you_ , she sent back.

_You should display this at your wedding._

She put the phone back in her pocket. When she looked at it again at lunch, Sigyn had replied.

_JK JK obvs you’re going to marry Thor and have 12 blonde babies._

She laughed and rolled her eyes. It was a pretty uneventful day, until English.

Jane and a few other girls were chatting and giggling when Sif took her seat. They were talking about a Halloween party one of them had planned. Sif started daydreaming about going to a party and impressing Thor with a badass costume while all the other girls showed up as bunnies and cats.

And then it happened.

“Oh my god, my boyfriend got me a flower crown for homecoming!” said one of the girls. “Wanna see?”

Flower crowns were one of Asgard High’s homecoming traditions, and senior girls usually wore gold roses. The other girls in the group looked at her phone and oooooed as Sif doodled on her notebook.

“Are you going?” one of the girls asked Jane. 

“Yeah, actually, this guy just asked me yesterday!”

“Oh, yay! Who?”

“Well, he’s on the football team? It’s this guy Thor?”

Sif stopped doodling. She felt like someone had punched her in the chest.

“Oh my god! He’s so hot! He asked you?! How did you meet?” came the chorus of responses.

“Yeah, I was like, tutoring the football players chemistry. Because I just started this science club and the coach asked me if I could help some of them after school? Anyway, we had done that a few times, and last night after everyone was gone, he came back in with flowers and this bracelet and asked me.”

Sif struggled to catch her breath as tears blurred her vision.

“Oh my god, let me see! That’s so cute!”

The minute bell rang. Sif got up and walked over to the teacher’s desk.

“Um, can I go to the bathroom?” she asked, her voice shaking in spite of herself. “I don’t feel good.”

In her previous three years of high school, Sif had never cried in a bathroom stall. She was _not the type of girl_ who cried in a bathroom stall. But apparently there was a first time for everything. She felt like she’d just collapsed after a race and someone was sitting on her chest. The tardy bell rang, and she was glad she had privacy to sob into her hands. Of all the girls she thought he might ask instead of her, he chose Jane—someone he had known for, what, a few days? _Science Club Jane_ who wore pink lipgloss and got excited about fund raisers? Flowers and a bracelet? She couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so miserable.

Her face was still red from crying when she went back to class. She knew everyone would notice when she walked in, but she didn’t care. She didn’t look over at Jane or the group of girls in the corner. She sat down and _did not care._

After school in cross country, she didn’t want to talk. She wanted to run and run until her lungs and feet ached. She wanted to feel her muscles burning and push herself harder. She wanted her whole body to hurt. She couldn’t wait for spring, when she could get back to pole vaulting and never think about homecoming again. She couldn’t wait for college, where she’d meet mature guys, and where she and Sigyn could be roommates and stay up late without their moms yelling at them. She could not wait to get away.

Later, after she got home, she texted Sigyn.

_Well it’s me and you for homecoming. U bttr look hawt 4 me._

_who did he ask I’m going to kill them both_

_SCIENCE CLUB JANE. NO JOKE._

_EW NO FUCKING WAY_

_Ugh_

_That is so weird!? Are you okay? :(_

_I will be._

***

“We should roll her house. Or his house. Or both of their houses. A POX ON THEIR HOUSES.”

Sigyn was yelling at the sky as they ate lunch on the bleachers by the track the following day.

“I mean, I knew he’d probably ask someone other than me. But her? She just got here!”

Just then, a group of other kids went by yelling something about a zombie orgy.

“The world is weird, man,” Sigyn concluded, lying down and looking up at the clouds.

“Are you going to hate me if I don’t wear a dress?”

“No. I was just hoping you’d really still come.”

“Yeah, I’ll come with you. I was thinking just jeans and a nice shirt, though.”

Sigyn laughed. “We know who wears the pants.”

She sat up and came up to Sif’s level and sat next to her, resting her head on her shoulder.

“Love you,” Sigyn said.

“Love you too, friend.”

Sif rested her head on Sigyn’s.

“Sorry boys suck,” Sigyn added.

“Boys suck so much.”

Sif felt like she was living in a haze over the week leading up to homecoming. She wasn’t excited about going, but she wasn’t dreading it, either. She was almost numb to the whole idea. In one science class, she let herself glance over at Jane and really looked her over. She was wearing Converse shoes, a pink sweater over a sad Pluto t-shirt, the standard lipgloss, and shimmery eyeshadow. Was that really what guys liked? _Apparently_. Sif sighed and resituated in her seat. _But of course he likes her. She’s pretty and smart._ But it wasn’t just that Jane was attractive. She was pretty in a different way. She wasn’t like the Barbies; she wasn’t a clone.

And something else, too—something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. She looked over at her again and saw her changing the batteries in her graphing calculator. As she did, the bracelet on her wrist sparkled with her movement. _She doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of her._ She surpassed Sif in not giving a damn. _She does what she wants, dresses however she wants._ She started to imagine Jane tutoring the football players and stopped herself.

Sif figured that if she could just get homecoming over with, she could bury herself in school and running and go back to not having a crush on anyone. But sometimes she thought of Thor and still felt a lump start to rise in her throat. They’d been friends since 9th grade, and she’d had a huge crush on him since sophomore year.

 _I should have known_ , she thought as she fell asleep one night. _It wouldn’t have taken him so long to say something if he liked me. Clearly._

The night of the game, Sif pulled on a button-up shirt and decided to wear her hair down. She put on a little mascara and some old lipstick she hadn’t worn since 10th grade. Her outfit wasn’t fancy, but it was a definite step up from her usual t-shirt and ponytail.

Sigyn arrived in her blue dress, paired with a sweater and lace Toms. She was wearing a flower crown made of big gold roses and plunked a matching one onto Sif’s head as she came in. She also had two plastic gold goblets—another Asgard tradition. Their moms took a few photos before they left.

They sat up high where there was plenty of space. Sif watched the game while Sigyn endlessly tried to capture the perfect homecoming selfie. Sif actually enjoyed football, although in the past she had focused almost solely on Thor, and now she was actively trying not to watch him.

“Which one?” Sigyn said, flipping through a few photos of herself.

“They all look the same,” Sif said. “You look pretty in all of them.”

“Ew, no I don’t! You need Instagram.”

Just then, the stands erupted in thunder—everyone drumming their feet as Asgard scored a touchdown. Another football tradition.

Sigyn’s other best friend, Patrek, approached them wearing a flower crown and eating skittles out of his goblet.

“I saw your boyfriend take some nachos to the chest,” he said as he sat down in front of them, straddling the bench.

It took Sigyn a second to realize he was talking to her.

“What? Who?”

“Thor’s weird brother? Are you not still into him?”

“Yeah, but shut up!” she said, playfully slapping his arm.

“He’s here?” Sif asked.

“Yeah, some big guy spilled nachos all over him. Like,” he rubbed his hand around his chest, laughing, “all fucking over. He looked so pissed.”

“That is so mean. Are you making that up? ” Sigyn asked.

“I’m not making it up! I saw it!”

“Aww, no, that sucks,” Sigyn pouted.

“He probably wants you to come lick it off.”

“Gross!” she yelled, laughing. “You owe me a skittle for that!”

When halftime started, they cleared the field and started setting up for the homecoming court ceremony. Sif rolled her eyes. Thor would almost certainly win Homecoming King. She couldn’t even remember who else was nominated.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” she said, standing.

“It’s gonna be crowded,” Sigyn said.

“Oh well.”

“You owe me another skittle,” Sigyn was saying to Patrek as Sif walked away. “That one didn’t count; it was purple.”

She headed down the stairs and wandered over to the railing for a closer look at the field. She saw a cluster of people lingering on the sidelines and the Asgard Viking mascot waving his hammer around, foam horns flapping. Just as she was about to turn away, she looked back as something caught her eye. Thor was there. She spotted him behind the others, and just as she looked, he was pulling Jane into a hug.

To Sif’s surprise, it hit her as hard as it had the first time. For a moment, she couldn’t look away. It was like concrete proof of what she’d been denying could possibly be true. And then she saw him kiss her cheek as he left.

 _Why is she even down there?_ Sif wondered, and then she saw Jane walk over to Thor’s mom to watch the court ceremony from the field. Sif had met Frigga a few times over the years. She always seemed so nice and cool. Thinking about her bonding with SCJ on the football field made her want to barf.

She tore herself away and made for the restroom, but the line was out the door. She couldn’t handle other girls seeing her, so she tried another option. The women’s locker was just down the ramp and around the corner. She’d been in there a few times for track meets in the spring. But surely it would be locked. She tried the handle in vain and was almost shocked when it opened.

Stepping inside, she shut the door softly behind her and saw that the light by the sinks was on. One of the hand dryers was blowing. So much for being alone. _Oh well. At least there’s no line._

She sighed and turned the corner, where she figured she’d just use the bathroom and then go back to her seat.

“Loki?”

His name left her lips in surprise before she could really process that he was standing in front of her. He was holding his shirt under one of the dryers. And she immediately saw why he had come to the locker room to wash his shirt: his torso was covered in bruises. Dark welts on his skin, down his back, and across his chest. More on his arms. Sif had never seen so many bruises on one person. Someone had beat the shit out of him.

He looked aghast to see her there.

“Oh my god… What happened?” she asked, stepping closer.

“I just needed to clean my shirt off. What are you doing here?”

She looked at the splotches on his skin again.

“Who did that to you?”

He was silent, his cheeks burning red, as he pulled the shirt on. She didn’t move. She wanted to cry at the sight of him.

“It’s not your business,” he said under his breath, avoiding her gaze as he did the buttons.

It was a nice blue shirt, unlike anything she’d ever seen him wear, although it still had a large grease stain on the front. After it was on, he tucked it in and turned to look at her.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he offered. “I’m fine.”

She didn’t believe him.

“Don’t tell anyone you saw me in here,” he said as he turned to go.

She wanted to speak, to get him to tell her what happened, but instead she stood dumbfounded and frozen and watched the door close behind him. The violet welts on his chest and arms plagued her mind as she used the bathroom and washed her shaking hands. She wished she hadn’t seen him. She wished she didn’t know. Walking back up to her friends, she felt like she’d been gone for hours.

“There you are!” Sigyn called, holding out Sif’s goblet.

Sif took her seat and saw that they’d crowned the princes and princesses in the lower grades; the king and queen were next.

“Are you okay?” Sigyn asked softly.

Sif nodded. She couldn’t tell her. Not about the locker room, about Loki cleaning his shirt, about the bruises, or anything. She wasn’t even sure she could tell her about Thor and Jane copulating on the sidelines.

To the surprise of no one, Thor was crowned Homecoming King. The stands erupted in applause and thunder. The Queen was a cheerleader named Amelia who had been diagnosed with Leukemia late in the previous school year. Sif clapped for her. Thor and Amelia waved to the crowd in their new crowns and then raised their goblets in front of them. Everyone in the stands echoed the gesture.

When things calmed down again, Sif realized she couldn’t sit through the next half of the game. She told Sigyn she didn’t feel good and wanted to go home early, and Patrek offered to give Sigyn a ride, so Sif hugged them goodbye and left.

Later that night, Sif checked her phone to find several ridiculous selfies of Sigyn and Patrek they’d taken in the stadium after she left. Despite her mood, they brought a smile to her face. She wished she hadn’t gone to stupid homecoming and seen Thor and Jane and Loki’s bruises or any of it.


	3. Chapter 3

Sif was already dreading art when Monday rolled around. The mental image of Loki’s blue skin still haunted her. She wished she could just have some explanation for what happened to him. Were other kids at school bullying him? Loki wasn’t popular, but he wasn’t exactly an outcast, either. And surely being Thor’s brother helped his reputation. Plus, if someone was hurting him, couldn’t his police chief dad put a stop to it? She was completely distracted in math and didn’t bother waking up Sigyn. As she headed into art, she didn’t look at him. To her relief, they had a lesson on shadow techniques and the class passed normally. 

But during lunch, she had a text from an unsaved number. 

_Please don’t tell anyone what you saw_  

A chill shot up her spine. She made sure Sigyn wasn’t looking at her screen. 

_Who is this?_  

_You know who_  

She stared at her phone for a moment. Did he get her number from Thor? 

_What happened to you?_  

No reply. She tucked her phone into her pocket. 

In science after lunch, she had the immense joy of listening to Jane talk about the new Science Club posters and watching movies with Thor. The teacher also congratulated Jane for having 50 members in the club, making it the largest academic club, so everything was way super great. 

After class, she saw that Loki had responded. 

_Will you swear not to tell anyone?_  

It seemed like such a 3rd grade question, but she needed to know the truth. She couldn’t stand wondering. 

_Yes. I won’t tell anyone._  

_I can’t text it. Can you come to the bleachers at lunch tomorrow_  

_B lunch?_  

_Yes_  

_Ok_  

So it was settled. Somehow, Sif was secretly meeting Loki at lunch, and she had more things she couldn’t tell Sigyn...or anyone. 

***

Her stomach was in knots as she made her way outside the next day. _What am I doing?_ She idly considered just not showing up. But she walked outside and around the corner to the familiar spot, and saw him there, standing under the bleachers amongst the red bars. 

“Hey,” he said. 

“Hey.” 

It sounded weird, like they were old friends or something. He came closer to her. She couldn’t remember ever standing so close to him, his blue eyes staring into hers. 

“You swear you won't tell anyone.” 

“Yes, I swear,” she said, tired of the word. 

“I didn’t want anyone to see; that’s why I was in there. It’s just…” he sighed and shrugged, looking down as he spoke. “I forgot to close the shed. And my dad hates it when the shed is open, because skunks can get in. He just lost his temper. He didn’t mean to. He’s really stressed about his job. And no one can find out, because they might call the police.” 

Sif was stunned. Loki and Thor’s dad, Odin, was something of a local hero. In addition to being a former governor, he was captain of the Asgard police force and was credited with reducing crime in the city by amazing rates. He regularly donated money to local charities, had created some program to help the homeless, and ran in the Turkey Trot every year. And those were just the things Sif knew about. 

“Your dad...did that to you?” 

Loki let out a heavy sigh. “He just lost control of himself for a second. He doesn’t mean to. He’s not a bad person—he got me a car this summer when I turned 16.” 

“Does Thor know?” 

He scoffed, but then his expression shifted. 

“Yeah, he’s a lot better at calming him down than I am.” 

“What about your mom?” 

A few people walked up the bleachers above them. 

“Not so loud,” he said. “No, she doesn’t know. We don’t want her to know.” 

“She’d probably want to know.” 

“No, you don’t understand. That would make everything worse.” 

“You’re right, I don’t understand. But your dad doing that to you is wrong. You shouldn’t have to deal with that.” 

“I know that. He just messed up; he won’t do it again.” 

They were quiet for a moment. 

“No one else knows about this,” he said. “It could ruin my dad’s entire reputation if anyone knew.” 

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” she repeated. 

“Thanks.” 

“I think I’m going to—” 

“Can I see your sketchbook?” he asked, cutting her off. 

“You want to see my sketchbook?” 

“Yeah. If you have it?” 

“Yeah, I always have it…” 

She swung her backpack around to the front and pulled out her yellow sketchbook. She’d been carrying one with her since 5th grade, and this particular one since 11th grade. She handed it to him and he started flipping through it. She felt weird, hanging out with Loki under the bleachers, but she was actually curious to see what he’d think of her art. 

Loki flipped past a few practice pages of eyes and hands and then landed on a colored portrait of Mystique. 

“Oh, that’s awesome.” 

“Thanks.” 

He looked at it more closely and then moved on. There were a few characters from other movies and games, some animals, an anatomy practice page, and an unfinished sketch of a woman running. He complimented each one and then paused on a picture she had drawn several months before. It was a colored drawing of Blink from _X-Men: Days of Future Past_ , her arms outstretched to either side as she looked to the sky. It was one of Sif’s favorite pages. Loki studied the drawing for a moment and then gave Sif a weird look. 

“What?” she laughed. 

He handed the sketchbook back to her and grabbed his backpack. 

“Hang on,” he said, pulling out his own sketchbook. 

He flipped it open to a page, laughed, and handed it to her. Sif took it and laughed again when she saw his drawing: the exact same picture of Blink. His art style was different than hers, but he’d even used close to the same shading and colors. At a quick glance, she could have mistaken it for her own drawing. 

“You like Blink?!” 

“Yeah, she’s awesome. She should’ve had more lines.” 

“ _Thank_ you.” 

“Same brain again,” he said. 

“Apparently.” 

She flipped to the next page and found an intricate drawing of a robot. On the next, a character she didn’t recognize. And then the next was an album cover she did recognize. 

“Oh my god, you like Evanescence?!” 

He laughed. “Yeah. Is that weird?” 

“No, she’s amazing. I love this album.” 

She hadn’t met many guys who shared her taste in music, or appreciation for Blink, for that matter. Loki was different. But he was a different kind of different than she’d expected. She’d had him all wrong in her head. And if she was honest with herself, he was actually very cute up close, with his bright eyes and defined cheekbones. She had a sudden moment of self-reflection about the whole situation. 

“You know, you should show these to my friend Sigyn sometime. She would love them.” 

“Oh. Uh, sure.” 

“You’re really good.” 

“Thanks. So are you.” 

She handed his book back and said she wanted to go eat before class. He nodded and thanked her for meeting him. 

She didn’t see Sigyn the next day since she had a cross country meet. Missing classes was the only perk, and she was actually a little relieved to have break from her best friend, too, since so many things had happened that she couldn’t tell her about. As she ran through the field, the sun baking her skin and the scent of mowed grass hanging in the air, she thought about Loki and the coincidence with his drawing of Blink. She thought about the way his eyes lit up when he looked at her artwork. She thought about how she’d watched his hand turn the pages. She remembered the time they’d painted together. She finally managed to clear her head and focus on running, but when they were back on the bus, thirsty and exhausted, her thoughts drifted back to him. She found herself wondering if Sigyn was right about Loki liking her. It seemed pretty likely with how eager he was to see her drawings. The thought made her smile, and then she stopped herself. _Shit. I’m the worst friend ever._  

*** 

The next day, she was excited when he texted her again, and then felt guilty about being excited. 

_I wrote down the stuff on the art quiz if you want?_  

The text stopped her in her tracks. She had forgotten that the cross country meet would mean missing a quiz over shadows. And then she raised an eyebrow. That seemed overly nice of him, and the art quizzes were always easy. She thought about saying no thanks, but that seemed rude after he’d gone through the trouble to make her a list. 

So, she was meeting Loki at the bleachers. In secret. Again. But only out of politeness. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” 

He handed her a folded piece of paper. 

“Thanks. That’s really nice.” 

“Were you sick?” 

“No, I had a cross country meet.” 

“Oh!” 

His reaction seemed oddly intense, like he’d been perplexed by her absence. 

“Uh, I have a few more X-Men drawings, if you want to see,” he blurted out. “If you have time.” 

“Oh… Sure,” she said. 

She told herself she was still just being polite. But her answer was honest. She did want to see his drawings. 

He set his backpack on the ground and pulled out a few pieces of paper. He was wearing his olive long sleeve shirt again. She couldn’t help but think that green was a good color for him. He ran his hand through his soft-looking hair as he stood up and she felt her cheeks go hot. He handed her the drawings and she looked through them. Raven and Charles, Erik, Wolverine, and then Blink again, in a different pose. 

“These are amazing,” she said earnestly. She was actually a little jealous. 

“Thanks.” 

“Have you posted them online?” 

“Not these, but I have a Deviantart.” 

“Oh, cool.” 

“Do you?” 

“Yeah, but I haven’t used it in a long time. But seriously, these are so good. I love your shading.” 

“Thanks,” he said more quietly than the first time. 

She handed them back, but he didn’t take them. 

“You can have them if you want.” 

She was taken aback. “You want to give them to me?” 

“Yeah!” he nodded. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. I mean, unless you don’t want them.” 

“No, they’re great. That’s...that’s really nice of you. I don’t know what to say.” 

“Do you want to go eat somewhere?” he asked. 

Suddenly, the air was tense. Sif’s cheeks burned again. She couldn’t find the words to respond. 

“I...um….I…” 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to. Just an idea.” 

“I just…. I don’t think I can.” 

“Maybe another day?” 

“I just. Okay. One of my best friends has a huge crush on you, and I would just feel really bad if I said yes to that.” 

“Your friend Sigyn,” he said, nodding. 

Sif looked down. “Was I too obvious?” 

He shrugged. 

“God, she’d kill me right now.” 

“Well, how do you feel?” he asked. 

Her skin was crawling from the awkwardness. 

“I um. Okay. I like talking to you,” she said, apologetic. “But she’s my _best friend_. We’ve been best friends since 4th grade.” 

He was silent. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just couldn’t do that to her. I know how I felt when I saw Jane with Th— I mean...” 

She stopped herself. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she regretted them. Loki’s expression changed immediately. 

“ _Thor_? Were you going to say Thor?” 

He almost sounded amused. Her whole face was flushed. She didn’t answer. 

“God, of course you fucking like Thor,” he said, grabbing his backpack. “I thought you were different, but you’re just like the rest of them.” 

He started to walk away. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Every girl at this school has a crush on Thor!” he said, whirling around. “It’s fucking cliché at this point.” 

“Sigyn never has,” she said, choking on her words. “She’s never liked Thor.” 

He looked dumbfounded for a second and then shook his head. 

“Whatever. Sorry I asked.” 

He walked away with strong steps. Sif looked at the drawings in her hand and blinked, letting a tear drip down her cheek. She realized he had probably drawn them for her, as a gift. It felt weird to think that she had admitted to liking Thor. She hadn’t thought about him in a while, nor had she been particularly annoyed by Jane in recent days. It was like she’d forgotten to be sad about them. 

_We need to make a fort this weekend_ , she texted Sigyn that evening. 

_Hell yes!_  

They had made a pact as kids that anytime they were in a fort, they could tell each other anything and they were not allowed to judge or get mad. Confessions over the years had included lost nail polish, kissing boys, period troubles, and girl crushes. The tradition had carried into their teens, and their forts had only become more elaborate. 

That Friday, Sif slept over at Sigyn’s house and they set up a fort in her living room with blankets and cushions. Sigyn added string lights and fake flowers, and inside they created a soft nest of pillows and blankets. By the time they were finished, it was almost midnight. They were eating popcorn in their glowing cave when Sif decided to come clean. 

“So, I have to tell you some stuff that’s happened recently, but I’m afraid you’re going to be mad at me.” 

“I can’t get mad at you. Those are the rules.” 

Sif sighed. She felt like she might cry. 

“Okay, what’s up? You’re making me nervous.” 

“It started with homecoming.” 

She told her about seeing Loki cleaning his shirt, but downplayed his injuries, saying he just had one big bruise on his arm. She said he had explained it at the bleachers, but that she’d sworn not to repeat it. She told her about the drawings and him asking her to lunch. Sigyn listened quietly through all of it. 

“And so, that’s it. That’s everything that happened.” 

Sigyn looked like she didn’t know what to say. 

“So...did you want to have lunch with him?” 

“Honestly, yes. I should have never let it go so far. I should never have met him there.” 

“No, it’s okay. If you like each other, you should go out.” 

Sigyn wasn’t gloating or making fun of her. Her voice was calm and supportive. 

“I wasn’t going to ask you for permission; I just wanted to tell you what happened.” 

“Okay, but seriously Sif, do you like him?” 

Sif hid her face in her pillow and whined. 

“Hello?” 

“Yes, okay? Yes, I like him. I’m the worst friend ever.” 

Sigyn laughed. “No you’re not. Seriously, I don’t care if you go out with him. Just because I liked him for a while doesn’t mean he’s off limits. You don’t need to miss an opportunity for a relationship because of me.” 

“Wouldn’t that be super weird, though?” 

“Maybe at first. But I really don’t care. It was just a crush; I’ve never even talked to him! Honestly, you know what? Here’s my confession: I just liked him because he looked most likely to be a secret vampire at our school.” 

“Oh my god. How are you not in love with Patrek?” 

Sigyn laughed. “Actually….Patrek is a good example. I did like him before I knew he was gay. But I’m not interested in guys who have a zero percent chance of liking me back.” 

She shrugged. 

“And that includes the ones who have a crush on my best friend.” 

Sif sighed. 

“Well, I don’t even know if he likes me anymore, since I accidentally mentioned Thor.” 

“You just have to show him he’s your first choice... But only if that’s true. If he’s not, then you shouldn’t go out with him. You can’t make someone your consolation prize. No one deserves that.” 

“I know.” 

“Maybe you should just think about it over the weekend.” 

Sif nodded and sighed. “You’re such a good best friend.” 

“I know.” 

They laughed. 

“In fact, you know what’s really great about this?” Sigyn added. 

_Here it comes._  

“It’s that I was RIGHT. Let us count the ways! Dream girl, check. Crush, check. Loki is attractive as hell, check…” 

The gloating continued for a while and then Sif let Sigyn put on episodes of _Vampire Diaries_ before they both passed out in the fort. Sigyn’s mom made waffles the next morning, and Sif spent the weekend thinking about Loki and how she could go back on her answer and show him he wasn’t her second choice. When she thought about Thor, she definitely did not like him anymore. It was almost weird to feel so indifferent to him. But it was like Sigyn said, you lose interested in someone who isn’t going to like you back. And Loki was so cute and sweet and talented. When she thought about how disappointed he had looked, she felt like a huge bitch. 

She decided to paint something for him. It had been a while since she’d done a watercolor. But what? She thought about Loki’s sketchbook, but she didn’t want to do another movie character. She wanted something different. And then she remembered his charcoal owl. She had never painted birds before, but it was worth a shot. After finding a reference photo and making a sketch, she decided it could work. She painted the owl soaring, with its wings spread, lots of colors, drips running off the page for a splattered effect. Her mom came by while she was working on it and said it was beautiful, but not to get any paint on the carpet. 

On Monday at lunch, she was discouraged to find that it was raining outside, but went ahead with her plan. She put her hood on as she headed out and around the corner to the bleachers. Her heart sank; no one was there. _Figures._ She went underneath anyway, figuring she could at least stay dry for a few minutes. She knew she should have texted him instead of just hoping he’d be there, but she had really wanted the painting to be a surprise. 

“Looking for someone?” 

She whirled around. She knew her face gave away how happy she was to see him there. She could have hugged him. 

“I’m surprised to see you here,” he said, “since it’s raining and I was a huge dick last time.” 

Sif shook her head. “You weren’t. I wanted to—” 

“Yeah, I was. I didn’t mean that about you not being different. You are. If you still want to be friends...that’s fine with me. I mean, I hope you want to be friends.” 

She was genuinely touched. She hadn’t expected an apology. 

“I brought you something,” she said, opening her backpack, and then her heart almost stopped. Her bag had leaked, and the painting was wet with rain. 

“Oh shit, it got wet. Shit.” 

She unrolled the painting and tried to shake the wetness off, but the damage was done. A few big drops had washed away some of her owl. 

“Well, imagine it without the streaks of water.” 

Loki took the painting and looked it over for a second. 

“You made this for me?” 

“Yeah. I wanted to give you that and ask if it’s too late to change my answer.” 

Loki looked stunned. “What?” 

“If you still want to go to lunch, my answer is yes.” 

He blinked. “What about your friend?” 

“I talked to her, she doesn’t care. We’re good.” 

He still looked like he couldn’t believe what she was saying. 

“And just so you know, I used to like Thor, but I don’t anymore. Don’t think you’re my second choice, because you’re not.” 

“Are you saying…” 

“I like you,” she nodded. 

She had never been so direct about a crush. Loki’s cheeks were red again. And so were hers. 

“Does that mean...you want to...be my girlfriend?” 

Sif smiled and nodded rapidly. “Yes. It means that.” 

He looked like he might faint. 

“Am I freaking you out?” she asked, laughing. 

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Wow, I really wasn’t expecting this. Where do you want to go?” 

The two of them walked to the sandwich place on the corner. She knew lots of people would see them together there, but she didn’t care. Eating was a bit awkward, and it didn’t help that Loki looked like he was about to have a stroke at any second. She tried to ease the tension by talking about working on the painting over the weekend, and he thanked her for it. Some of Sif’s cross country friends were there, and they stopped by the table for a few minutes to chat. She could tell they were confused to see her with Loki, so she introduced him and explained that they had art together. Months before, she might’ve been embarrassed to be seen with him, and that thought made her feel a little sad as she watched him eat. He was so cute that she blushed just to look at him. It didn’t matter that he was skinny or that he needed a haircut. Those things only made him cuter. When they walked back to school, she almost held his hand but stopped herself. 

“So, I’ll see you in art tomorrow?” she asked as they arrived at the building. 

“What about after school?” 

“I have cross country.” 

“Oh, right. You have that every day?” 

She nodded. 

“I could come watch,” he said. 

“We just run around town,” she said, shaking her head. 

“Oh.” 

“It’ll be more interesting in spring, when I can get back to pole vaulting.” 

“Pole vaulting? That’s...that’s so badass.” 

She laughed. “Thanks.” 

There was an awkward moment where they just smiled at each other. She hesitated for a moment and then moved forward and hugged him. He smelled good. He slowly returned her embrace and she loved his arms around her. 

In the weeks that followed, they regularly met by the bleachers or went somewhere for lunch on B days. They talked about art, games, movies, and music, and made each other playlists and mixed CDs. They started holding hands when they walked together, and Sif was embarrassed by how immediately her body responded to his hand in hers. Every time they hugged, she wanted more. She couldn’t stop fantasizing about kissing him, but she didn’t want to do it too soon. Sigyn kept asking her how things were going, but she felt weird giving her too many details.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a chilly November day, the week before Thanksgiving break, when Sif decided she was absolutely going to kiss Loki. She was finished waiting for him to do it. She had wanted to do it several times before, but she kept chickening out at the last second. It reminded her of when she first learned to pole vault and would run run run but stop short of a jump, frozen holding the pole. No more. It was time to make it over the bar. She was still coaching herself about not backing down as she went outside at lunch that day. 

She saw him standing under the bleachers in their usual spot and steeled herself. He turned and smiled when he saw her. They greeted each other with a hug as always. 

_Kiss him!_ she thought. But he spoke instead. 

“Look,” he said, showing her his phone. 

He had set a picture of their silent painting as his lock screen. He had taken it home after Mr. Sanders cleared out the art case. 

“Aw, cool... Is that when you started liking me?” she asked, genuinely curious. 

“What?” 

“When we painted that.” 

Loki laughed. “Are you...are you serious?” 

 “Yeah, why? Was it a lot longer or something?” 

He laughed again and his cheeks went bright red. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.” 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” she said, touching his arm and burning with curiosity. 

“Okay. Oh, god. Do you remember that birthday party Thor had at our house when you guys were in 9th grade?” 

She knew exactly what he was talking about. Thor had invited a bunch of people from school to his 14th birthday freshman year. Loki would have been in middle school—8th grade—then. 

“Yeah…” 

He shrugged. 

“What?! You’ve liked me since then?” 

His whole face was red. 

“God, this is terrible, but I don’t remember you being there,” she said. 

“I wasn’t really participating; I just walked by a few times and saw you guys.” 

“And...you liked me?” 

He nodded. “I saw you, and I thought. I thought… God, this is so stupid.” 

He put his hands over his eyes. 

“What?” 

He spoke quickly. 

“I thought, that’s the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” 

She touched his arm again. “That’s not stupid.” 

And then she did it. She kissed him. Her lips on his lips. For a split second, he seemed frozen, and she was all nerves and regret. And then she felt his hands on her arms and he leaned into her. Kissing him was electrifying and awkward, and her ears burned. 

Afterward, he looked stunned. 

“Still true,” he said. 

It took her a second to understand, and then she smiled. 

“God, I can’t believe you’ve liked me that long!” 

She threw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. 

Back in health class after lunch, Sif couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss and what he told her. She laughed when she thought about him liking her when she was in 9th grade—she’d had braces then! She thought about how his lips had felt against hers and her whole body blushed. She wondered if he was thinking about it, too. She wondered if it had made him hard when she kissed him. It had to, right? She shook her head. Was she really sitting in class thinking about her boyfriend’s penis? It was still so weird to think that the word “boyfriend” applied to Loki. _Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend. Penis._  

“Sif?” came the teacher’s voice, snapping her out of her daydream. 

“What?” 

“Can you tell us the definition of carbohydrate?” 

After school in cross country, Sif was stretching with the other girls when one of them suddenly turned to her. 

“Hey, are you really dating Thor’s brother?” 

Sif wasn’t sure she liked her tone. 

“Loki? Yeah…” 

“That is SO cute!” 

Sif laughed. She couldn’t argue with that. 

***

Loki came over to her house that Friday. She hugged him in her room and he held her for a while. Sif’s walls were decorated with her art, and he noticed she had a new drawing up and complimented it. Then they sat on her bed, and this time he kissed her. Sif’s mom was downstairs, but she knew they’d hear her coming in time to stop. It wasn’t as awkward as the first time. His hands on her made her knees weak. Sif had been horny before, like any teenager, but it had never been quite so carnal as it was with Loki. She had never _wanted_ someone so much, not even Thor or any of her other high school crushes. She ran her hand through his dark curls and kissed his neck. She wanted to sit in his lap, but she felt like that would be moving too fast. 

After they made out, they started talking about random things and somehow ended up on what they used to get from ice cream trucks. 

“Those cartoon heads with the gumball eyes? Remember?” Sif asked. 

“Oh yeah! Or the weird snow cone with a gumball at the end?” 

“I loved that one!” 

“We used to say the gum gave us special powers,” he said. 

They both laughed, and then they were quiet for a while. 

“Can I ask you something?” Loki asked cautiously. 

“Yeah, anything.” 

“Can I ask you...how long you liked Thor?” 

“Oh. Um...it was a pretty long time, honestly,” she said, apologetic. “Kind of since sophomore year.” 

He nodded. “Just curious.” 

“I used to wonder why he had never asked me out. Now I’m glad he never did.” 

She touched his arm. Loki kissed her again. It was a long, passionate kiss that left her wet and breathless. 

“Can I ask you something else?” he said. 

“Yeah, anything,” she said again. 

“Have you….ever had sex?” 

“Oh…” 

“You don’t have to answer.” 

“No, it’s fine,” she said, shifting her weight to sit on her foot. “Yeah, I did once. I was in 10th grade and it was with this senior guy who turned out to be a huge asshole. He was really nice to me and made me think he liked me. He even met my mom once. And then after we did it, he acted like he didn’t know who I was. Like, he literally wouldn’t even look at me.” 

“Holy shit.” 

“Yeah. So that wasn’t a great experience.” 

“God. What a fucking asshole. I can’t believe someone did that to you.” 

He put his arm around her. She appreciated his reaction, since some people had acted like she deserved it for sleeping with an older guy too quickly. 

“What about you? Have you had sex?” 

He shook his head and smiled a little. “No. I hadn’t kissed anyone before you.” 

“Oh. I hope that doesn’t make you think of me differently.” 

“No, of course not. It just makes me hate that guy… Honestly, I kind of thought you’d have done it more than once.” 

“What? Really?” 

“Uh, not because you seem like… I mean, you’re just so mature and you know a lot of guys?” 

He looked like he regretted saying it. She laughed. 

“No, actually, I felt so slutty after that, I thought I might never do it again… Obviously that’s not true.” 

“Well, I didn’t ask because I have expectations or anything. I was just curious.” 

“I know, that’s fine.” _But also I secretly want to rip your clothes off?_  

*** 

Thanksgiving break rolled around, and Sif’s father, who worked on an oil rig offshore, was home for the holidays. Her brother Heimdall came home too, and threw his arms around her and lifted her up when he arrived. He was in his senior year of college in another state, and between Muay Thai and making a 4.0 in his mechanical engineering major, he didn’t get to visit very often. It was nice to have them both back, but weird to have four people in the house. On Thanksgiving, her family went to her aunt’s for dinner, and several people asked about her new boyfriend. She was actually glad; he was more fun to talk about than school or applying to colleges. She even showed off his drawings with pictures her phone. 

Loki came over to her house the next day and they made hot chocolate and played video games. He met her brother and dad for the first time, and Sif was nervous on Loki’s behalf, but everyone was pretty cool about it. 

“Remember,” Heimdall said to Loki before he left, pointing a finger at his face, “I’m always watching you.” 

Sif rolled her eyes. “Be nice.” 

Heimdall laughed and slapped Loki’s shoulder. As Sif walked him out to his car, she explained that her parents had adopted Heimdall a few years before she was born, thinking her mom couldn’t get have children. Loki hadn’t asked, but she enjoyed explaining how she ended up with such an awesome brother. 

It was a good break. Until late Saturday night, when Sif was on her computer and her phone buzzed with a call from Loki. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey. Can you talk?” 

She could tell right away that he had been crying. Her stomach sank. 

“Yeah. What’s wrong?” 

“My dad,” he sniffed. “He’s such an asshole. I just need to hear your voice.” 

“What happened?” 

Her heart was hammering her chest. 

“He just came in here and beat the shit out of me like usual. He came in and pushed me out of my chair and started yelling about how I’m too fucking lazy.” 

“It happened again?” 

“Yeah. I kind of lied to you about it being a one-time thing.” 

“When did it start?” 

“Right after I started high school. When I was 14. I thought it was just like some weird phase because he was stressed at work.” 

Sif was speechless. His dad had been beating him for _two years_. Loki let out a heavy sigh. 

“Where’s your mom? And Thor?” 

“Mom’s asleep. Thor came in and tried to stop him but he was just like _this isn’t your goddamn business_. He brought me some Gatorade just now. Thor, I mean.” 

“Aw, Loki, that’s so scary. Are you okay?”

“My ribs still hurt. And my arm. I don’t know why he hates me so much.” 

His voice broke her heart. She had never heard him cry before. 

“It’s not usually this bad, though. He was so mad for no fucking reason. He never gets mad at Thor like that, ever.” 

“I don’t know what to say,” Sif said. “I wish I could hug you right now.” 

“Me too. I just needed to hear your voice.” 

“I wish I could help you.” 

“Talking to you is helping. I’m looking at your owl right now.” 

He had hung it on the wall next to his bed the day she gave it to him, she’d learned the first time she was in his room. 

“It’d be nice to fly away,” he continued. “I can’t wait to graduate next year and get out of here.” 

After they hung up, Sif felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to go down the hall to her mom or Heimdall and tell them everything, but she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t call the police. He’d never forgive her if she told anyone. And what if she told someone, but nothing got better? Or what if Loki’s dad found out and it got worse? No, she still had to keep the secret like she promised.


	5. Chapter 5

The next Monday at school, Sif hugged Loki outside of art. She was still shaken from the phone call, but he looked happy. 

“Look what I got,” he said, pulling his backpack around to the front. 

He pulled out a brand new pack of Prismacolor markers.

“Holy shit, where did you get those?” 

Sif was actually jealous. Prismacolors were so expensive, and he had a whole set. 

“My dad got me them,” he said. “He was going to save it for Christmas, but he wanted to give it to me now.” 

Suddenly, Sif understood. She forced a smile. She knew it was completely fucked up that Odin tried to compensate for hurting Loki with a nice present, but Loki looked so happy about the markers, she couldn’t say anything negative. 

“Those are awesome. I can’t wait to see what you make.” 

Maybe Loki’s dad really did feel bad about losing his temper. Maybe he never meant to hurt his son like that. Maybe he didn’t know why he did it, either. These thoughts distracted Sif in art class and through the rest of the day. She was glad to see Loki happy, but she couldn’t shake the suspicion that the markers were just Odin’s way of placating Loki into not telling anyone about the other side of their relationship. 

Later that day in science, Sif was surprised when Jane sat down in the desk next to her. 

“Hey, Sif,” she said. 

“Hey?” 

“You and Loki should come out to use the telescope tomorrow night!” 

“Oh, yeah...when is that?” 

“Tomorrow night at 9. We’ll be out in the back parking lot.” 

Sif was genuinely flattered to have a personal invitation. 

“Okay. Yeah, that sounds cool, I’ll see if he wants to go.” 

“Yay!” Jane said, and then she moved when the girl who actually sat there arrived. 

So Sif and Loki decided to go to telescope night. Jane and the science teacher were there surrounded by a sizeable crowd. There was a good turnout, which meant they’d have to wait a while in the freezing air for their turn to look. Loki and Sif huddled together for warmth. When it was time to start, Jane spoke to the group. She was in a poofy coat and pink earmuffs. 

“Thank you all for coming out tonight! This is so exciting. The sky is really clear. We’re looking at Mars first, and then we’ll reposition for the Ring Nebula. You don’t have to stay for both, but you should, because they’re both awesome.” 

Sif smiled. Jane’s enthusiasm was contagious, and she wasn’t annoying anymore. When Sif set aside her dumb jealousy over Jane being equal parts nerdy and girly, she actually seemed like someone she’d want to be friends with. 

As people started to take turns at the telescope, Thor arrived with his hands full, but Sif couldn’t tell what he was carrying. It turned out to be much-needed hot chocolate for the group. 

Jane waved at them when they got closer to the front of the line. Thor had his arm around her. 

“Hey, Loki! Hey, Sif!” 

“Hi,” Sif waved back. 

“Glad you made it!” 

Thor waved, too. It wasn’t weird to see them together anymore. Actually, they were a cute couple, Sif had to admit. And then she wondered if it was weird for Loki, since he knew she’d liked Thor for so long. She held his hand tight and he smiled at her. 

“You look so cute in that hat,” he said. 

She was wearing an old knit beanie she almost never wore unless conditions reached arctic levels of cold. 

“Thanks,” she said with a laugh. “You look cute in your scarf.” 

When it was her turn to look at Mars, Sif saw a blurry brown dot. It was cool to think that she was actually looking at the red planet and not just some photo in a book. While they waited for Jane and the teacher to reposition for the nebula, Sif leaned against Loki and he put his arms around her. There were a few other couples doing the same, and she realized how happy she was to be there with him. She was already looking forward to kissing him by the car. When it was finally their turn again, the Ring Nebula looked like a circle of smoke in space. Sif thought it was cooler than Mars. 

Loki put his arm around her as they went back to the car. Once there, Sif turned to him and met his lips with hers, pulling him toward her. She wanted him to know how glad she was to be with him and never wanted him to have any doubts. The air was cold and quiet and his lips were hot against hers. Sometimes while they were making out, he made a little sighing noise like he couldn’t get enough of her, and she was instantly putty in his arms. 

***

The end of the semester was busy as usual, with another cross country meet, finals, papers, and projects. Sif couldn’t wait for winter break. It was also time to start applying for colleges. She and Sigyn had talked about applying to the same schools so they could be roommates, but now Sif was torn. She had always liked the idea of moving away for college, but things were different now, since Loki wasn’t graduating yet. She hated the idea of being away from him for a whole year, and she couldn’t figure out if that was stupid. 

December also meant that Sif should start thinking about her birthday. Sigyn kept telling her she should do something epic for her 18th, but she didn’t feel like having a huge party. She settled on inviting people out to dinner at one of her favorite restaurants. Sigyn and Patrek showed up, as did a few girls from cross country, some other friends she’d known since middle school, and Jane and Thor, who she’d decided to include to be nice, and because she secretly wanted to become friends with Jane. Loki seemed a bit nervous about meeting some of her friends, possibly because he was one of the youngest people there, but they were all cool about it and excited to meet him. 

The surprise highlight of the evening was when she opened Loki’s gifts. The first was a rolled piece of paper with a ribbon around it. She found that it was a drawing of Gamora and Peter almost kissing with Gamora wearing his orange headphones—one of her favorite moments. She could tell he had used his new markers, and he’d added lyrics from one of her favorite songs: 

_Crush my heart into embers_

_And I will reignite_  

“Oh my god! Ah! This is amazing!” 

Loki just smiled. Sif couldn’t stop looking at the drawing. He knew her so well, and he was so talented. She hugged him and then moved on to his second gift, a small box. Inside, she found a necklace, and looking closer at the pendant, discovered it was a pointed glass vial with a tiny red rose inside. Above the vial, the metal hood of the pendant resembled an antique lampshade. 

“This is the coolest necklace I’ve ever seen,” she said, and her friends craned their necks to look. 

She handed it off to Sigyn to show the others and then kissed Loki. The necklace was somewhat more feminine that what she usually wore, but she loved it. It was so unique and romantic. When Sigyn handed it back to her, she immediately put it on. 

After dinner, Loki, Sigyn, and Patrek came over to Sif’s house to watch a movie. Sif was glad they could hang out, but she was itching to get some alone time with her boyfriend. When they finally left for the night, she walked back to the sofa and plopped down on Loki’s lap and kissed him. 

“Hi,” she said. 

“Hi. Did you have a good birthday?” 

“Yeah. Thanks for my awesome presents.” 

“I’m glad you like them.”

“I love them,” she said, looking into his eyes and stroking his hair. 

Her heart fluttered when she decided what she’d say next. 

“I love you, Loki.” 

He looked like he had when she’d given him the owl painting. He hugged her tight, and then looked up at her again. 

“I love you, too,” he said, still wide-eyed. “I love everything about you.” 

She kissed him again. Just then, her mom stepped in to say goodnight, so Sif reflexively jumped off Loki’s lap and showed her the necklace. They hugged longer than usual in the driveway that night. Sif never would have believed someone if they told her she’d fall in love with Loki her senior year of high school, but there she was. With him. 18. And never happier.


	6. Chapter 6

Sif felt mature and rebellious pulling into Loki’s driveway while no one else was home. It was a few days into winter break, and she hadn’t told her mom that no parents would be there. 

They were making out in his room almost immediately. They had talked about taking off their shirts the next time they did, and this time they went through with it. Sif could tell Loki was probably a little shy about it, so she went first. He had never seen her in just a bra. He looked like he didn’t know what to say. 

“You are so hot,” he mumbled. 

“So are you,” she said, running her hand through his hair. 

She kissed his cheek. He pulled his shirt off, and her smile faded when she saw a blue bruise on his chest amongst the yellowed ones.  He hadn’t told her it had happened again. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, gesturing to the spot. 

“Oh, yeah, it’s nothing. It’s old.” 

It didn’t look old, but she didn’t want to dwell on it. She put her arms around him and kissed him. Feeling his skin against her skin made her instantly wet, and her cheeks burned. As she sat in his lap on the bed and he kissed her neck, she couldn’t remember ever feeling _so freaking horny_. She liked the feeling. So sexy and mature. And then she became aware of just how excited she was. 

She broke away from the kiss for a second to look down. The crotch of her jeans was visibly wet. 

“Oh, god!” 

She jumped off his lap. She had left a spot on his pants. Her entire face burned as hot as the sun. 

“I’m SO sorry.” 

Loki was speechless for a second, looking at his leg and then her pants. 

“Is that...pee?” 

“What?! No! No, it’s not _pee_!” 

She wanted to die and dissolve into dust and blow away like one of Sigyn’s vampires. 

Loki’s eyes went wide. His face was scarlet, too. 

“Oh…OH.” 

He stood up and came over to her. She could barely look at him. _So much for mature and sexy._  

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said, putting his arms around her. “It’s okay.” 

“God, I want to die,” she said, hiding her face. 

“No, it’s okay,” he said softly. “Actually...that’s really hot.” 

She laughed nervously. 

He kissed her cheek. “It’s not weird. I’m really horny, too.” 

“Really?” she asked, looking up at him. But of course he was. 

“Well, _yeah_.” 

“Do you get horny every time we kiss?” 

He nodded like it was a dumb question. 

“What about...when we hold hands?” 

He laughed. “Sometimes, maybe. Why, do you?” 

She looked down, her cheeks hot again. 

“Wait, really?” 

She nodded without looking at him. 

“God, that’s _so hot_ , Sif,” he breathed, kissing her again. “You always get wet when we make out?” 

“Oh god, _always_.” 

They kissed harder this time, and Loki actually grabbed her butt, holding her against him. She didn’t know what she was going to do about her soaked jeans since she had nothing to change into, but for the moment, she didn’t care. He kissed her neck again and she moaned at his touch. 

“Oh, god,” she breathed. 

“Oh, god,” he echoed. 

She could feel his boner pressing into her thigh and held his hips as she kissed his skin. And then suddenly, he froze. 

“Oh...shit,” he muttered. 

“What?” 

“Uh, I havetogotothebathroom,” he said, dashing away. 

She stood in his room, not entirely sure what just happened, but actually relieved that she wasn’t alone in being humiliated by her body. She looked down at her jeans and then scanned the room for something—anything—she could possibly wear home. 

Loki returned looking sheepish. She hugged him like he’d done for her. 

“I guess we’re even,” he said. 

“Did you…” 

“Come in my pants? Yes.” 

She kissed his chest. “Well, that’s pretty hot, too.” 

“I guess we both need to change,” he said. 

“Yeah. Can I wear those?” she asked, pointing to some flannel pajama pants on his chair. 

“Sure.” 

She took them to the bathroom to change, and they spent the rest of her time there cuddling on his bed while they listened to music. When she got home, her mom gave her a strange look and Sif made up a story about spilling Coke on her jeans in the kitchen at Loki’s house. 

The rest of winter break passed too quickly. Sif confided in Loki about her stress over applying for colleges, and he told her they could make anything work, but she wasn’t sure. It seemed too optimistic to think that everything would be fine while they were in different cities, or even different states. But she also knew Sigyn didn’t want to apply to the school in Asgard. She decided to apply there, anyway, thinking it might be easier to convince her if she got in. 

For Christmas, she gave Loki a new video game and a framed picture of the two of them. He gave her a little bike figure he had welded together in metal shop. It found a new home on her desk in her bedroom. 

*** 

When the new semester started, Sif found that she actually wanted to dress up for school. It was fun to surprise Loki, and it was also her last semester ever. She started wearing mascara and leaving her hair down. She stopped wearing athletic shoes every day. And she wore the necklace he gave her all the time. She didn’t feel judgey or superior to girls who dressed nice for school anymore; it seemed childish when she remembered it. She really felt like she was growing up. 

Spring also meant it was time for track and field instead of cross country, and Sif was eager to get back into pole vaulting. Loki liked coming to her practices after school and watching from the bleachers. Her coach told her that Loki couldn’t stay if Sif was distracted, but if anything, she felt like him watching just pushed her harder. She liked that she was good at something that impressed him. Plus, she didn’t want Loki to have to be home alone with his dad after school. She was rusty with the jumps at first, and she knew she’d need to work just to get back to her original best. 

Sif and Loki had art together again, and she thought she saw Mr. Sanders smile when they chose seats next to each other. Art had always been her favorite class, and now she loved it even more. When the teacher announced that they’d be doing portraits of anyone of their choice, she excitedly jabbed Loki’s arm and he laughed. 

Another great thing about the new semester was that Sif and Loki had lunch with Sigyn, Thor, and Jane on A days. It had been a while since Sif had a group of friends she regularly met at lunch, and she liked that it was happening in her last semester of high school. Sigyn seemed pretty comfortable hanging out with them; she was always cracking jokes. Sif hoped it wasn’t weird for her being the only single friend. 

Eating at Subway one day, Sigyn did an impression of a weird kid in math class that had everyone cracking up. After the laughter settled, Loki laughed again and everyone else joined him. Sif realized he was wiping tears out of his eyes, and then she looked at Sigyn. She looked proud of herself. Suddenly, Sif wasn’t amused anymore, but she wasn’t sure why. Was she actually jealous of Loki laughing at her friend’s story? The thought didn’t sit well with her. Loki must have noticed her sulking over her sandwich, because he put his arm around her and rubbed her side. When they were back on campus and alone again, with a few minutes to spare until the bell, he turned to her. 

“So, you got kind of quiet at lunch?” 

“Yeah. I don’t know. It’s stupid.” 

“What?” he asked, stopping and turning to face her. “If I did something wrong, you have to tell me.” 

“It’s not you,” she sighed. “I just got, I don’t know, insecure when you were laughing so hard at Sigyn’s story. Like, I don’t know if I’ve ever made you laugh that hard.” 

“What? That was the reason? You have nothing to be insecure about.” 

“Yeah, but you know she used to like you. Isn’t that ever weird to think about?” 

He shrugged and shook his head. “Not really. It’s kind of a compliment.” 

“I don’t know, I just got a weird feeling... Like, it would kill me to see you with someone else. And that’s scary, you know? It’s scary for one person to have so much power over you.” 

She felt incredibly vulnerable saying it out loud. Loki held her waist. 

“I feel the same way,” he said. “I don’t want anyone else but you.” 

He held her hands. 

“And anyway, you know, it’s weird for me sometimes too, knowing you used to like Thor.” 

She put her arms around him. 

“No,” she said, apologetic. “I feel bad about that. I love you.” 

“I love you, too,” he said, returning her embrace. “I just mean, I know what you’re saying. Don’t feel bad.” 

And while she was pressing her face into his hoodie, her arms tight around him, it hit her how much he really meant to her. He wasn’t just her first choice, he was her dream guy. Seeing him with someone else wouldn’t mean crying in the bathroom; it would mean staying home from school. She hugged him tighter and they kissed goodbye when the bell rang. 

The same topic came up with Sigyn that night on the phone. 

“Oh my god, you did not steal him from me. I can’t believe you’re still saying that.” 

“I know, but you liked him first, and sometimes I just feel like it must be weird for you to see us together.” 

“It’s weirder that you’re still bringing it up, Sif. I have moved way, way on. I’ve had like eight thousand crushes since then.” 

“What? Really?” 

“Yeah, you might know that if we had actually hung out together in the last century.” 

“Oh…” 

“Like, there’s this guy in my English class, Fandral? who is soo pretty.” 

“Oh yeah, I know him. Yeah, he’s cute.” 

“Okay, don’t steal two of them.” 

“Stop! Oh my god!” 

“I’m kidding! Loveyoufriend.” 

“Maybe we need a fort soon,” Sif said. 

“We dooooo.” 

Sif kept wanting to talk to her about getting accepted to the university in Asgard, but she couldn’t find the words. She needed a fort. 

“Also,” Sigyn said, “am I crazy, or is Science Club Jane actually awesome?” 

Sif laughed. She hadn’t called her that in a while. 

“No, she totally is.”


	7. Chapter 7

Sif’s feet struck the pavement in rapid succession as she got a running start and then planted her pole in the ground, and she was up, up, up, and her head was over the bar, so good, so good—but then her leg caught it and it came down with her. 

 _Fuck_. 

The weather was finally getting warmer, and she was improving, but she still hadn’t topped her previous best height. She felt like she had hit a wall. Her performance at the last track meet had been just okay. Loki always told her how awesome she looked when she jumped, but she had a long way to go if she was going to medal at district. And with spring break just a week away, she was worried about how rusty she’d become. It irritated her that she couldn’t practice without the coach present. 

Her feelings about the week off dramatically shifted, though, when her mom told her she’d be out of town for a business conference. Sif instantly had butterflies. She wasn’t technically allowed to have Loki over while the house was empty, but this was it. This was her golden opportunity to finally talk to him about going _all the way_. Her palms got sweaty just thinking about it. 

She brought it up one day when they were alone in the car after lunch. 

“So, I found out I’m going to have the house to myself over spring break.” 

“Oh,” he said. He looked happy to hear that. 

“I wanted to ask you something…” she started. 

He raised his eyebrows. 

“I feel so weird asking this. Like, okay. If you’re not ready, that’s completely fine, we don’t have to. But. Is it possible. For you. To get condoms?” 

His eyes went wide. 

“Um, yeah, I think so… Yeah, I should be able to.” 

“I mean, no pressure. We don’t have to if you’re not ready.” 

“I’m ready _right now_.” 

She laughed. Her hands were trembling from bringing it up. 

“I mean, it should probably be me, since I’m 18…” 

“No, it’s okay, I’ll get some,” he said. 

“Where?” 

“I think there’s a vending machine in the bathroom at the mall.” 

“Oh! That’s so smart… I didn’t even think of that.” 

Their hug goodbye seemed a little awkward after that, but she was glad she’d finally said it. 

In the week leading up to spring break, it was all she could think about, and she guessed it was the same for him. She practically had to cross her legs anytime she imagined what it would be like. 

Her mom was gone by Monday afternoon. Her heart was pounding when Loki pulled up. 

“Hey,” she said, throwing her arms around him. 

“How are you?” 

“I’m pretty nervous,” she replied honestly. 

He nodded. “Me too.” 

They went upstairs to her room. Sif turned and hugged him again, this time not letting go. He wrapped his arms around her and stroked her back. She kissed him, hoping it would break the tension, but instead, it just made her more anxious. Every touch seemed to carry a new weight. She pulled her shirt off, and when he did the same, she realized he looked more nervous than she was. Oddly, the thought put her at ease; she wanted to help him relax. 

“My heart’s beating so fast,” he said. 

“Mine too.” 

She kissed his bare chest, inwardly relieved that there were no new bruises this time. Soon, they were in Sif’s bed in only their underwear, Loki on top. She could feel how much he wanted her and grabbed his butt as they kissed. 

“Oh, god,” he breathed. He sounded more nervous than excited. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, I just can’t...I can’t believe this is happening.” 

“It’s happening. I love you. Just forget about everything else.” 

“You are so gorgeous.” 

“So are you,” she said. “You’re so hot, Loki.” 

Her cheeks burned at the sight of him naked. She had wanted to see him for so long and now he was finally in her bed. His face went red as he put the condom on. And then she kissed him again. She let out a shaky gasp to have him in her, and he moaned, his eyes clamped shut. 

“Not so hard,” she said at his movement. 

“Oh. Sorry.” 

“That’s okay,” she said, stroking his hair. 

“Like this?” 

“Yeah. That’s good.” 

He looked into her eyes for a moment as he rocked his hips and then kissed her. To her mind, it was the first time she’d ever made love. She was happy to think that Loki’s first time having sex was with someone who loved him with all her heart. When it was over, he rested his brow on her shoulder and tried to catch his breath. 

For a while, they lied silently, just holding each other below the low hum of the ceiling fan. Sif was happy. She stroked his arm while he breathed on her shoulder and they fell asleep. 

Over the break, she decided she’d work on her portrait of Loki so he couldn’t watch her progress in class, and it turned out he had already decided to do the same thing. _Same brain_. It felt like the most challenging project she’d ever done, since he was the most beautiful person she’d ever painted. 

They took full advantage of the empty house during the week. Loki spent entire days there, and sex wasn’t so nerve-wracking after the first time. When he wasn’t there, she was painting a portrait of him, so in that way, it felt like he never left. She was frustrated when she couldn’t seem to get his nose and lips just right. Once while he was over, she sat in his lap, held his face, and slowly rotated it to look at his features. He laughed when he realized what she was doing. 

“You’re so pretty,” she said, running her hands through his hair. 

A little smile curled his lips and he looked down. Sif kissed his temple and pulled him into a hug. 

Later, he told her that Thor and some others were going to his parents’ lakehouse, an hour outside of the city, for a few days, and they were invited. 

“I don’t know. Do you want to?” 

“It’s a fun place, but it’s up to you. We could just keep hanging out here…” 

“Yeah. Let’s do that,” she smirked.


	8. Chapter 8

When Sif lugged her portrait to school a few weeks later, she felt pretty proud of it.  She had spent a lot of time getting his eyes right. Looking at it, she got the same feeling she had when she looked into his real eyes. She couldn’t wait to see his painting of her. 

They both carried their portraits to the art room before first period. When she saw him coming down the hall, she smiled in anticipation. She turned hers around first, and he looked genuinely touched. 

“That’s amazing,” he said softly. 

“Just like _you_ ,” she laughed. “Well, let me see yours!” 

The suspense was killing her. He turned his canvass around and her jaw dropped. Her portrait of him was good, but his was _gorgeous_. She was looking over her shoulder, wearing a flower crown, her lips slightly parted in a peaceful smile, her eyes warm and radiant with dark lashes. Sif wasn’t even sure she was actually that pretty. 

“Holy shit, Loki.” 

He smiled modestly. 

“That’s beautiful, wow. God, I feel like I’m speechless. That’s amazing.” 

“I’m glad you like it. Yours is awesome, too.” 

She could barely take the compliment seriously in comparison. Mr. Sanders came over and began praising their work. Loki looked like he didn’t know what to say when Sif and the teacher both gushed over his painting. After they left the classroom, Sif gave him a big hug in the hall by the art case. 

“You’re amazing,” she said softly. “I’m so lucky.” 

Loki sighed. “About half as lucky as me.” 

She changed her Facebook profile picture to Loki’s painting, and her phone exploded with likes for the rest of the day. 

*** 

Over the next few weeks, Sif was busy but happy. Loki always came to watch her practice, working on his homework or sketching in the bleachers, and she was getting better on the pole each day. She beamed with pride when people stopped her in the hall to tell her how amazing both of their paintings were, now that they were displayed in the art case among several other portraits. 

She went shopping with her mom to look at prom dresses since all the stores were already full of them, but ended up getting regular outfits instead. Sif could tell her mom was silently overjoyed at her actually wanting to look nice, because she kept offering to buy more shirts. It was like they were making up for two years of her not caring. 

One Monday, Sif decided to surprise Loki. She braided her hair before bed so it would be curly. She put together an outfit of a new v-neck with a sparkly flower on the front and a casual cotton skirt. She wore eye makeup, dangle earrings, and even sandals. She hadn’t dressed so girly all year. She almost didn’t recognize herself. She couldn’t wait to see his face when she met up with the group for lunch. 

She came up behind him, nearly laughing in anticipation, but when he turned, her excitement evaporated and her heart sank. There was a new bruise below his left eye. It was dark, and it looked like it really hurt. 

“Hey! You look pretty,” he said like everything was normal. “Where do you want to eat?” 

She knew she couldn’t ask about it in front of everyone else. 

“Um, whatever you guys want is fine.” 

They decided to pile into Thor’s car and go to Taco Bell. Sif felt like screaming or crying while Loki smiled and joked like nothing was wrong. He put his arm around her in the car. _Why didn’t you tell me?_ It hadn’t been there on Saturday, and he never mentioned anything about it on Sunday. It turned out he and Thor had already told the others that Loki walked into a door during the night. They even made a joke about him being clumsy. Sif didn’t laugh. She tried to calm down and focus on eating and having fun, but any time she saw that horrible dark spot on his cute face, sadness weighed on her chest. She had to stop looking at him. She couldn’t wait to get him alone and talk about it. Sigyn pointed out that she was being extra quiet, so Sif said she had just been waiting for the right moment to propose and handed her the “Will you marry me?” hot sauce packet. Sigyn acted out a tearful acceptance and everyone laughed. 

When they were back on campus, Sif and Loki walked around to the side where they always said goodbye before class. Loki hugged her. 

“What made you want to dress up today?” he asked. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” she shrugged. 

He smiled. “You’re so pretty.” 

He kissed her. She couldn’t stand the nagging feeling any longer. 

“You’re not going to tell me what really happened?” 

“You know what happened.” His voice was small and his smile was gone. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

He shrugged. “I didn’t feel like talking about it. Stop looking at me like that.” 

“Loki, you should tell someone.” 

“I’m not telling anyone!” he said, taking a step away from her. “And neither are you. You promised.” 

“ _Don’t_ yell at me.” 

Hot tears welled in her eyes. She had never heard him sound so defensive. 

“Sorry,” he said, his voice back to normal. “I’m sorry.” 

“Me too,” she said. “I just had to ask. I can’t see that and not ask. I love you.” 

He sighed and hugged her. She hugged him back, her arms tight around him. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “I never want to make you cry.” 

He kissed her forehead and wiped a tear from her cheek. 

“I’m crying because I’m worried about you.” 

“Don’t worry about me,” he pleaded. “It’s not that bad. I’m used to it.” 

His words weighed on her for the rest of the day. _No one should be used to that. People shouldn’t be able to do that to their kids and get away with it._ When she saw him after school at the track, he asked if she was mad at him. She shook her head and gave him a long hug. 

Something else was weighing on her, too. Thor was graduating and leaving for college in a few months. It was frightening to think that Loki would be alone with his dad more often in the coming year. She fantasized about Loki moving into Heimdall’s room, but she knew that would never happen. 

That night, the tears flowed into her pillow. She had to say something to someone, that much was clear. But doing so would mean breaking her promise. And that might mean losing Loki forever. But what if it got worse? What if his dad really injured him or got so out of control that he killed him? It seemed farfetched, but not impossible. She had to do something, but who could she tell? Not the police. A teacher? No, a teacher would probably call the police or CPS. Her mom? Her mom might freak out and call Loki’s mom.... And Frigga would be the right person to tell. Sif knew she should just go straight to her. But she couldn’t send an email or Facebook message; Loki’s dad might check the computer first. She’d have to write her a letter. And she’d have to give it to her in person, so that no one else could intercept it. She opened her eyes in the darkness when she remembered that they’d be off school that Friday for a teacher work day. It was the perfect opportunity. She knew she had to do it. She would help him, even if it meant losing him. Having a plan of action helped her relax and fall asleep. 

Loki’s bruise faded to a yellow green color over the next few days. Sif looked up his mom and found out where she worked—she knew she was a nurse, and it turned out she worked at a children’s hospital not too far away. She told Loki that she had plans with Sigyn on Friday since the two of them hadn’t hung out in a while. Since the second part was true, she felt bad about not having real plans with her. Her stomach was in knots every time she thought about the letter, but she knew it was the right thing. She made sure to hug Loki a lot and show him how happy he made her and tell him she loved him. She didn’t bring up the bruise again and tried to only talk about good things. He seemed happy. He hugged her in her driveway on Thursday night and she told him he meant everything to her. He said he felt the same way. When he drove away, she stood in front of her house and cried. 

She had been working on the letter in her head all week and sat down to write it that night. She had soaked her shirt with tears by the time she finished. 

 _I’m sorry to be the one telling you this, but I can’t stay silent anymore. I promised Loki I would not tell anyone, and he might never forgive me for writing this. Loki’s dad is hurting him. He hits him and leaves big bruises on his chest, back, and arms. I feel sick when I see a new bruise on him, like the one on his face this week. He told me it has been happening since he was 14 and he couldn’t tell anyone because of his dad’s reputation. I think that’s why he wears long sleeves so often. He tells me not to worry about it and the last time we talked about it, he said he was used to it. I don’t think anyone should be used to that. I hope I’m doing the right thing by telling you._  

*** 

Sif took a deep breath as she parked at the hospital late Friday morning. She glanced at the envelope in her lap and swallowed. There was no turning back. 

She could barely think as she stepped inside, her heart pounding. She stopped at the front desk and asked for directions, feeling her stomach churn. She was ready to throw up or cry as she rode the elevator, her hands shaking. When she reached the right floor, she found Loki’s mom in the office there. When Frigga spotted her, she immediately came around the side. 

“Sif, honey? Is everything okay?” 

Sif must have been pale as a ghost, judging by her immediate concern. 

“No,” she replied honestly. “I, um. I have this note for you.” 

She handed her the envelope. 

“If you could just please read it after I’m gone. I’m sorry. I hope I’m doing the right thing.” 

Frigga just stared at her for a second, dumbfounded, and then looked at the envelope. 

“Okay,” she said, nodding. 

Sif turned to go. 

Back in her car, she sobbed buckets into her hands, unable to drive away as she struggled to breathe and see and think. 

Her phone buzzed. And then her heart pounded again. It was a text from Loki. 

 _What are you up to?_  

He probably wanted to see if she had time for lunch before hanging out with Sigyn. Her hands were still shaking as she held her phone. She couldn’t say anything that would tip him off. 

 _Still in bed, I don’t feel good. Talk later? Love you._  

_Aw feel better :(_

She wiped her eyes and drove away. She felt so sick she thought she might have to pull over. She thought about Loki and his bruises and promising him and kissing him and his face, and how Frigga’s face would look as she read the note, and what she might say to him. Her mind raced in a million directions. What if she never heard from him again? What if Frigga didn’t believe the note and threw it in the trash? What if she accused her of lying? What if Loki hated her? When she got home, she flung herself into bed and wailed into her pillow. _It’s done. I did it. It’s over._  

By the time it got dark outside, she still hadn’t heard from him. He had to know by now. Something must have happened. She couldn’t stop checking her phone. She sent her mom away when she asked if she wanted dinner. As she waited, the tears came back. She was so anxious. She started to worry that she wouldn’t hear anything by her district track meet the next day and she’d still have it hanging over her as she competed. But she didn’t care about winning, she just wanted to know that he was okay. She looked at the pretty paintings and gifts he’d given her, held the little metal bike in her hands, and covered her floor with tissues. 

It was after 11:30pm when he called her. 

“Hello?” she answered. 

“Hi.” 

She didn’t know what to say. She could hear her heart beating. Then, he spoke again. 

“Guess where I am?” 

“Oh god, where are you?” 

“The lake house. I’m sitting here in the back looking at the water right now. There’s so many fireflies. It’s really peaceful.” 

She didn’t understand what he was trying to tell her. 

“Are you mad at me?” she asked softly. 

“No. No, I’m not mad at you. Do you want to know what happened?” 

“Yes, of course.” 

He told her about how his mom had come home from work so much earlier than usual, and how she’d come straight to his room and told him to take off his shirt. He had tried to tell her no and then started crying when she insisted. So he took it off, and she saw his skin and asked him to tell her the truth. It had all spilled out, then. He told her everything about how his dad hat beat him. She hugged him and told him she was sorry that he thought he couldn’t tell her, sorry that she hadn’t known, and that his father would never hurt him again, that he would never have to see him again. She brought in his suitcase and told him to pack up his things, and that they’d stay at the lake house until she could find a new place in the city. Loki asked her if she was sure, if they were really leaving, and she said yes, _no one hurts my baby and stays in my life._ Thor was there, too, and helped them load the car. He had joined them at the lake house later that evening, though he was going back home the next day. His mom was planning to file for divorce, and she wanted to find a new house soon. She had shown Loki the note Sif wrote and said it was a brave thing for her to do. 

“And here we are,” he said. 

“I love you so much,” Sif sobbed into the phone. 

“I love you, too. I’m sorry for putting you through all this.” 

“It’s not your fault. I felt so bad breaking my promise, but I couldn’t stand seeing you get hurt anymore.” 

“I know,” he said softly. 

They were both quiet for a moment. 

“I wanted to come watch you tomorrow, but now...” 

Being at the lake house would probably put him two hours away from the district meet, since it was going to be at another school. 

“No, that’s okay,” she said. 

“You should come out here, though. You could spend the night.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah! It’ll just be you, me, and my mom.” 

“I would love that.” 

“Oh god, it’s so late,” he said. “I should let you get some sleep.” 

Sif looked at the clock. It was almost 1am. 

“That’s okay. I’m so glad you called me.” 

“I wish you were here.” 

“Me too. I miss you.” 

“I’ll let you go to bed now. Jump high.” 

She smiled through her tears. 

“I will. I love you so much.” 

“Love you too.” 

“Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight… Sif?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Thank you.” 

His voice was so quiet it took her a second to realize what he said. Sif was suddenly starving and dashed downstairs to the kitchen for food, smiling as she ate, and then passed out in her bed. 

The next day at her competition, Sif felt rejuvenated. She wished Loki could have come, but a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. When she was up for the pole vault, she let herself soar. She was weightless. She was happy. She was flying. 


	9. Chapter 9

Sif’s mom decided that an hour of driving was too long and took her to the lake house. She had told her everything that happened, and she’d been understandably shocked, but took it better than Sif expected. She told her that she was sorry she had to deal with something so serious at her age, but that she was proud of her for dealing with it in a mature way. She agreed to let her stay overnight at the lake house. Sif’s heart was pounding as they walked up to the door. Loki’s mom answered and gave her a big hug. 

“Hi, honey,” she said. And then she looked her in the eyes, her hands on her shoulders. 

“Bringing me that letter was very brave, and it was exactly the right thing to do. I am so proud of you. Thank you for saving my son.” 

Sif’s lip trembled at her words. She hadn’t expected such heartfelt gratitude. She could only nod and hug Frigga again. 

Then Loki appeared, and Sif hurried over to him and threw her arms around him. He held her and kissed her hair. 

“How did it go?” he asked. 

Sif smiled and revealed the silver medal she had hidden under her shirt. She had only told him it was “good” via text so she could surprise him. 

“Oh my god!” 

“And it was a personal best,” she beamed. 

“Congratulations, honey,” Frigga said, touching Sif’s shoulder. 

Sif’s mom and Frigga started talking, while Sif and Loki headed to his room. Sif pulled out her phone and showed Loki a picture her coach had taken when she made it over the bar, yelling and throwing her hands up even before she landed. 

“I can’t believe I missed this,” he said. 

“It’s okay,” she said, hugging him again. “I missed you.” 

He pulled her tight against him and kissed her. She ran her hands through his hair and breathed his scent and felt so, so relieved to be there. They sat on his bed, Sif on his lap, and she kissed his cheek. 

“How are you?” she asked quietly. 

“I’m okay. I’m good. It’s so weird to think I’ll never see him again.” 

“I was so scared you would hate me,” she said. 

He shook his head. “I could never hate you. I love you more than anything.” 

She hugged him again and kissed his temple. “I love you too, Loki. I love you.” 

They were quiet for a few minutes before he spoke again. 

“My mom had this long talk with me about how what he did was wrong and it’s never justified for someone to treat anyone else that way. She said it’s no one’s fault but his, and I never deserved it.”

His voice was calm and normal until he choked on the word “deserved.” 

“She’s right,” Sif said, rubbing his back. 

“I know,” he said, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

She held him silently for a while in the crisp, woody air of the lake house. She noticed that he had her portrait of him and their vase painting leaning against the wall amongst his other things. She wondered if Odin knew where they had gone, but she didn’t ask. 

The two of them changed into their swimsuits and braved the cool April water. Loki wore a t-shirt, finally not caring who saw the marks on his arms, and Sif felt a wave of relief when she thought about how they’d fade away and never, ever come back. They splashed each other and jumped off the ledge and laughed and laughed, and for a while they were as carefree as two teenagers playing in a lake should be. 

When the sun went down and the water got too cold, they sat on a towel in the yard, watching the fireflies against the dim glow of dusk. Sif leaned against Loki and wrapped her arms around his damp shirt. He returned her embrace and kissed her wet hair. 

“You okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah. I’m so happy to be here. Oh, that was a bright one!” 

He laughed and stroked her back. They were quiet for a while and then Sif looked up at him. 

“I’m going to stay here for college. For the first year. And then we can figure out where we’re going when you graduate.” 

She had yet to talk to Sigyn about it, but she’d made up her mind. Loki’s big blue eyes were relieved and grateful. He kissed her and rested his forehead against hers. 

After they showered and got dressed, they were sitting on the couch watching TV when Frigga came in to say goodnight. She said she trusted them to behave, but she had to insist on separate bedrooms. She was planning to go back to the house the next day to get some things, but said they could stay while she was gone. Sif was almost shocked that she was fine with that. As Frigga walked away, Sif felt overwhelmingly sorry for her for all the awful things she was going through. For a second, she felt a little guilty. Frigga seemed strong, but she wondered how well she was really holding together. 

They waited a while after she had gone to bed and went back to Loki’s room. He told her he had two condoms left, and she was instantly on him, kissing his neck, as he ran his hands down her back. They pulled off their clothes and were in his bed in record time. 

She muffled a moan into his shoulder when he started rocking his hips. 

“I love you, Loki,” she breathed. 

“I love you, too. Oh, god.” 

A few times as they made love, they looked each other in the eyes, quietly panting and amazed at their bodies. Sex had never felt quite so good. They were getting better at it. She moaned quietly and kissed his ear, holding him and messing up his hair. Afterward, they got dressed and lied together for a while. She figured she had plenty of time to go back to her room to sleep. 

She woke up with a start to the sound of Loki’s door opening. Frigga was there in the glow of the light from the living room. 

“Breakfast is ready, _you two_ ,” she said with a pointed politeness, smirking and rolling her eyes as she closed the door. 

Sif was mortified. She looked over at Loki and they both laughed. 

“At least we have clothes on,” he said. 

Sif felt extremely awkward walking into the kitchen after that, but Frigga was all smiles, and breakfast smelled amazing. She had the windows open, and the fresh air carried the scent of the lake through the house. They loaded their plates with eggs, muffins, sausages, and drank orange juice. Sif was floored at how much she had cooked and thanked her several times. When they were finished eating, Frigga said she needed to talk to Loki before she left, so Sif sat on the back porch with her cell phone for a while. She had started to doze off by the time Loki came and found her. 

“Hey,” he said, sitting down next to her on the sofa. 

“Hey.” 

“Did you hear all that?” 

“No, none of it.” 

He smirked. “She asked me if we were using protection.” 

“Oh my god, no. Noooooo,” she said, hiding her face with a pillow. 

“It’s okay,” he laughed, resting a hand on her knee. “It wasn’t that bad. She wasn’t mad. She just wanted to make sure we weren’t doing anything stupid. And then she started telling me how consent means willing and enthusiastic, not just saying yes...” 

“Oh my god, how is your mom so amazing?” 

“She’s basically the best.” 

“Is that all you talked about?” 

“No, then she asked me if I needed anything from my room when she goes.” 

Loki laid down to spoon her. 

“Now we have the house to ourselves,” he said. 

She held his hand and he kissed her neck. 

“I kind of wish we still had two condoms,” he added. 

“What?” she said, turning to face him. “But last night was amazing.” 

A sweet smile curled his lips as he studied her face. “Yeah.” 

He kissed her and held her against his body. She could feel how immediately he wanted her and melted in his arms. A cool breeze rustled the trees, and she realized the sky had gone grey. They made out on the porch as the rain started and made love in Loki’s room to the sound of thunder. It had been a while since they had plenty of time and didn’t have to keep quiet, and Sif had never felt so passionate. She wished they could just live together there forever. 

Sif felt as though she had aged a few years when she returned to school the next day. Finals were suddenly a perfectly surmountable obstacle compared to everything else that had happened. 

Shopping for prom dresses with Sigyn and their moms was more fun than she expected it to be, and when she found her dress, she couldn’t wait for Loki to see her in it. It was emerald chiffon with lace and sparkly beading, gathered at the waist, with a low V in the back and a small train. She felt like she was on a Hollywood red carpet walking in it. Sigyn’s dress was a shimmery plum shade, beaded from top to bottom. It looked like an antique, like something from Great Gatsby or the Titanic. 

The two of them finally had another fort night, where Sif confided in her about everything that had happened with Loki and his family. She felt like she was coming clean about a double life. Sigyn was understandably stunned and told Sif she had probably saved Loki’s life. Then they talked about college. Sif was excited to tell her that she’d been accepted to the university in Asgard, but Sigyn had her own confession. She’d been offered a journalism scholarship to her dream school in New York. It wasn’t a full ride, but it was an amazing opportunity. It was good news for Sigyn, but it came as a blow to Sif’s chest, and they had a good hug-and-cry before they fell asleep. 

Loki’s mom took him to the doctor to get some kind of scan to make sure he didn’t have internal injuries from his dad’s abuse. To Sif’s relief, everything was fine. She hugged him for a long time after her told her.


	10. Chapter 10

Frigga wasted no time in finding a new house since she couldn’t tolerate the hour commute to work every day, and the group decided to meet there before prom. Sif arrived at the same time Thor was getting back with Jane. Jane was in a silver dress that glittered when she moved, and Thor had a silver vest to match, minus the sparkle. They both waved. As the three of them entered together, Frigga immediately came to Sif. 

“Oh my gosh, honey, look at you! You look so beautiful,” she said. “What an amazing dress, wow, turn around for me.” 

Frigga turned back to grab her camera, and Sif felt awkward about the way she had breezed past Jane to compliment her. 

“She’s right, that really is an amazing dress,” Jane said. 

“Oh, thanks; yours is too! You look flawless.”

“Thanks!” 

“Oh, let me see you, too, honey,” Frigga said to Jane, finally. “Oh my gosh, how beautiful!” 

Sif turned and saw that Loki had appeared in the hallway. They hurried toward each other and hugged. He was in his tux with his forest green vest that matched her dress. The suit fit him well; he looked so much older than usual. Loki always looked cute, but dressed up, he looked _hot_ in a mature, sexy way. He was even wearing cologne. 

“Wow,” he said, breathless, looking her over. He looked stunned. 

“You look amazing,” she said, her hands still entwined with his. 

“You look...god, are you sure you’re my date? Is this a dream?” 

Everyone apparently heard him and laughed. 

Sigyn and Patrek arrived, and their parents all took pictures outside. Riding in the limo to prom, they discovered sodas and champagne glasses and promptly made use. Thor almost looked too big for the limo seat, and Jane looked miniature beside him. Sif had a feeling Jane was very glad about coming to Asgard High. Everyone looked happy. Patrek was messing with the radio stations and stopped when he landed on “Chandelier,” and he and Sigyn immediately started singing and dancing in their seats. 

As they arrived at prom, Sif ran into her track friends and found it very cool to see them in formal dresses. They all looked gorgeous. Inside, the tables were decorated in black and silver, with confetti and candles and fancy plates. When Sif looked over at Patrek, he somehow already had candy in his silver goblet. 

After dinner, there was a slideshow, and then it was time to dance. They all danced as a group until a slow song came on. Sif smiled at Loki and put her arms over his shoulders as held her waist. It was weird to think that it wasn’t really _his_ prom. 

“You’ve been kind of quiet,” she said. 

“I can’t stop looking at you,” he said. “You’re always beautiful, but...holy shit.” 

“Thank you. Holy shit to you, too.” 

He shrugged. 

“Don’t be so modest,” she teased. “You know you look good.” 

As they swayed to the music, Sif looked around at her classmates, all in fancy clothes, dancing in pairs. In months past, she might have looked at some of the more revealing dresses with distaste, but now she could care less. All she saw was other people having fun, teenagers enjoying a night they’d remember forever, wearing whatever made them feel good. Thor and Jane were not too far away from them, looking giant and tiny again, and smiling at each other like they were alone in the room. 

Sif looked back at Loki and embraced him as they swayed, resting her head on his shoulder. Her senior year was so different than she ever imagined, and every choice had led her to this moment. When the song ended, she kissed him, and for a split second, Loki looked like he might cry. Then a faster song started, and the whole group danced together again. 

Later, Sif was sitting on Loki’s lap at the table while they took a break from dancing, and one of her track friends came over to take a picture of them. She put her arms around Loki, rested her head on his, and smiled. It would turn out to be her favorite photo from that night. Second place was a photo of her dancing with Sigyn, who had Patrek’s tie on her head and a flower in her mouth. 

After prom, it was time to change into costumes for the school's all-night after-party. Sif and Loki wore green shirts and alien antennas. Sigyn wore fairy wings. Patrek wore his clothes backwards for some reason. Thor and Jane had matching AHS senior t-shirts. It was odd to be going to school at night, and the halls had been transformed into a palace with sheets of gold paper and facades and music, with different areas for free food, games, and prizes. 

“You know, if someone had told me I’d be going to prom with you, I would have thought they were insane,” Loki said as they sat at a table in the courtyard, trying to keep their eyes open in the wee hours of the morning. 

She laughed, more at his lop-sided antennas than what he’d actually said. 

“Well, they would’ve been right,” she said, and then kissed his cheek and leaned against him in exhaustion. 

Loki put his arms around her and sat still enough that she actually fell asleep for a few minutes, smiling and breathing the scent of his cologne. 

*** 

Sif’s father came home in time to go with her and her mom to nationals for track, where she came in fourth place behind three pole vaulters who looked like warrior women. At graduation, she got pictures with Sigyn and Loki. It was weird to think that she was never going back to high school. It was weird to think that Loki was still a year away from his graduation. It was weird that Sigyn was leaving. 

But at least there was still summer. A few weeks after school let out, the group decided to spend a weekend at the lake house together for Loki’s 17th birthday. Thor rented a small boat to take out on the lake, and as he brought it to the dock by the house, they all ran down to meet him. 

Sif realized she forgot her sunglasses and ran back inside. When she came back out, they were all gone, and she hurried down the hill to the dock, where she found them all on the boat, staring at her. For a moment, she just looked at them. Jane in her cute coverup and Thor in his bro cap. Sigyn forcing Patrek to wear sunscreen. And Loki, shirtless and smiling. They all looked happy, and they were waiting for her. 

“What’s so funny?” Loki asked. 

“Nothing,” she said, walking down the dock. 

“Well, come on, silver medalist,” Sigyn joked. 

She climbed on board and Loki put his arm around her. Thor started the motor and soon they were moving. 

“Are you okay?” Loki asked softly. 

“Yeah,” she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Never better.” 

He kissed her. 

“Happy Birthday,” she added.


End file.
